


Non, je ne regrette rien

by Dragonsandducks



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Devineaux is the world's worst wingman, F/F, First Kiss, Gay, Not Canon Compliant, Road Trip!, by which i mean he reminds me of my father, devineaux has BDE (big dad energy), inaccurate driving times, julia-centric, lots of projecting onto julia, many sword inaccuracies, ooc devineaux tbh, sorry to any polish readers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 12:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonsandducks/pseuds/Dragonsandducks
Summary: Everywhere Carmen goes, Julia and Devineaux follow. It doesn't take Devineaux long to figure out just why Julia is so set on talking to Carmen.





	Non, je ne regrette rien

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song by Edith Piaf, (which is what I imagine the song in the car is)  
listen to it here: https://youtu.be/Q3Kvu6Kgp88

Of all places, Carmen reappeared in France. Which meant Julia was subjected to a long, angered rant by Devineaux on the five-hour drive there. ACME, for all their pomp and flair, wouldn't just fly them. 

"She thinks she can just steal from us! Well, she has another thing coming!" The car was headed dangerously toward the edge of the road, but Devineaux didn't seem to notice.

"Watch out!" Julia cried. Devineaux swerved back onto the road. "Focus, please," she said, trying to hide her annoyance. 

Devineaux snorted. "Why do you like this woman so much? She's a thief!" 

Julia shook her head, turning to look out the passenger side window. The scenery of the French countryside really was gorgeous, just like Devineaux always said it was. Green trees, blue sky, sloping mountains... She especially loved the flowers, all different colors blending together as they rushed past the car window. "It doesn't _seem_ like she's a thief."

"If she steals, she's a thief," Devineaux argued. 

"Why would she give me the Magna Carta if she were a thief?" At that, the car swerved, and Julia grabbed the dashboard to avoid being flung around. 

"She _what?!__"_ Devineaux exclaimed, and Julia realized she'd never mentioned that particular event to him before. Well, they had been busy. And it wasn't like they talked much. Devineaux did most of the talking in their conversations. 

"On the train," Julia said calmly. "She returned the Magna Carta to me." 

Devineaux huffed. _For all his confidence_, Julia thought, _he really is an idiot._ Not that she'd ever say that aloud. "While kept me handcuffed." Devineaux let his wounded pride slip into his voice.

"You are always chasing her around," Julia pointed out, "and yelling at her. _La femme rouge!"_ She imitated Devineaux's french accent. 

He let out a short laugh. "I don't sound like that. You know what _you_ sound like? _I do not believe it was Miss Sandiego_," he said, in a terrible impression of Julia. 

Julia said nothing, and a moment passed between them in silence, the radio playing something soft and old and French. Devineaux hummed along to the singer's voice, crooning a jazz number that Julia had never heard before.

"You really trust this woman?" Devineaux finally asked. 

Julia continued to stare out the window. "I do," she said quietly.

"Well then," Devineaux said. He paused another moment, letting the music drift over them. "I trust you, Miss Argent. You know that, correct?" 

"It is hard to believe sometimes," Julia admitted. "It'd help if you didn't talk over me so often."

"I have a lot to say," Devineaux said, defensive. But he gave in, saying, "you're right, though."

The song changed, and Devineaux smiled, the spark of nostalgia in his eyes. "My mother loved this song. She played it all the time." It was a woman's voice, and the way she sang made Julia think of honey. Sweet and smooth, in every way.

"It's a lovely song," Julia admitted, and they sat in comfortable silence for once, the song filling the open air.

* * *

Carmen must have delivered the stolen statue to Julia sometime that night, because when she woke, it was on her bedside table, along with a note. _Heard you were looking for this. Keep it safe for me! - C.S._

Julia smiled, despite herself. She wondered, aimlessly, how Carmen had found her, and how she'd gotten in and written a note without Julia waking up. But Julia knew the woman was a mystery, and one that didn't want to be solved. 

She brought the statue to Devineaux and the rest of ACME once she was dressed, and Devineaux's mouth dropped open, gaping. "What- But- _How?__"_ he sputtered, looking at the statue in shock. 

ACME checked it over, confirming that it was the real deal, and returned it to the grateful museum. Just like that, Julia and Devineaux were back in the car, heading wherever Carmen was. 

Which, apparently, was Poland. Another long drive, this time to recover the Szczerbiec sword, a (now missing) Polish relic. 

Julia told Devineaux about the note, information she had conveniently skipped over when talking to ACME. He was silent a long time, starring at the road ahead, but not seeing it. 

"You love her," he said simply. "Do you not?" 

Julia blushed, a deep shade of red. "No! Of course not!" 

"She leaves you notes. She trusts you with artifacts."

"Then she must love me."

"But you accept the artifacts. And you trust her." 

"I don't see why it's any of your business," Julia said, face in her hands, "if I love her or if I don't."

"You're my partner," Devineaux said. He elbowed her lightly. "You can tell me. I've fallen in love with criminals before. There was one woman, back when I was a rookie, who was famous for stealing cars..."

"Please stop," Julia begged, her entire face cherry red.

"But when I encountered her," Devineaux continued, ignoring her, "I was struck by her beauty! I chased her all over France. We nearly-"

"I don't want to hear this!" Julia exclaimed, covering her ears.

Devineaux laughed. "You don't like my stories?"

"I'd rather we keep our love lives to ourselves, please," Julia said. 

"Have it your way," Devineaux said. "But I think you and Miss Sandiego may make a nice couple..."

"_No_." Julia's voice was firm. 

Devineaux shrugged, dropping it, but Julia wasn't done just yet.

"Maybe you and the car thief could have been a good couple, too," Julia joked. 

"If she hadn't gone to prison, I would have married her," Devineaux said fondly. 

Julia made a face of disgust. "And you make fun of _my crush_." 

"So you admit there's a crush!" 

The red returned to Julia's face. "Well- that is to say-" But she was caught. "Fine! There's a crush!" 

Devineaux smiled. "Ah," he said. "Young love."

* * *

They arrived at the museum that evening, investigating the scene. Julia found a scrap of a red coat caught on the broke glass of the sword's case, and Devineaux crossed his arms at the sight of it. "The evidence is damning."

"We've worked with worse," Julia said. "She'll return it."

"For the sake of both our jobs, you should hope you're right." With that, he continued around the museum, searching for any more evidence.

Julia sighed. "Carmen," she whispered to herself. "What are you doing?" 

There was no answer. 

* * *

Julia walked home from the museum alone, Devineaux electing to stay back to discuss with the Chief. 

As she continued down the streets of Poland, she swore she saw flashes of red in the corners of her vision, just out of sight. She wondered, absentmindedly, if it was Carmen, but pushed the thought aside. She had a job to do, and a crush to not think about. 

A crush who appeared in front of her not two minutes later, sword in hand, red hat and jacket on. "We meet again, Jules," she teased. 

"Miss Sandiego," Julia said, surprised. "You have-"

"The Szczerbiec sword," Carmen finished, holding the hilt out to Julia. Julia took it, and nearly dropped it due to the sheer weight of the thing. "It's heavier than it looks," Carmen warned, late.

"I see that," Julia said, hefting it off the ground. 

"Need help?" Carmen asked. 

"I can handle it." The sword's tip hit the ground again with a clang.

Carmen smiled. "Let me walk you home." She held her hand out for the sword.

Julia didn't argue, handing it over. They walked in silence.

"So, where's your partner this time?" Carmen asked, breaking the quiet of the night. 

"Just... cleaning up at the museum," Julia lied. She did love Carmen, but she wasn't going to tell her about ACME and risk losing her job. 

Carmen nodded. "I like you, Jules," she said, as they reached the outside of Julia's hotel. "If you ever want to work together, I'm open to it."

Despite everything, Julia smiled. She took the sword back from Carmen, who turned to leave. 

"Wait," Julia blurted, and when Carmen was facing her again, she leaned forward. 

And Carmen did too. 

* * *

It was a good kiss. The best kiss Julia had ever had, though she hadn't kissed anyone since the beginning college, and it was forever ago, but even if she kissed a million other girls, those kisses would never beat this one. It was soft and sweet and _perfect_. Julia almost argued when Carmen pulled away. 

"Well," Carmen said, not hiding the smile on her face. "You're a real jack of all trades, Jules. Smart, funny, and a good kisser." Julia blushed. 

"Thank you," she said, and then cursed herself for saying it.

"You're welcome," Carmen replied. 

And then she was off, a ghost in the wind. Julia was left on the hotel steps with a sword in her hands and a stupid grin on her face. 

"He is not going to believe this."


End file.
